Doubt

My church friend gave me a book called The Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer over three years ago. During that three year period, I started and stopped reading that book over five times and I never made it out of the first section of the book. I am not a big reader unless I am forced to be because I can't keep my concentration. I learned while reading the book that is called a wandering mind because my eyes would scan the words but not retain the information. That has been my problem my entire life and I hated going backward and forward rereading the same information over and OVER again. So, I put reading on the back burner and enjoy my movies and TV shows. However, recently I finally finished the book with the help of the audiobook, and I was able to keep my concentration because the voice was reading to me. The crazy part is my family has told me that my words are powerful and that was the main reason I started this blog, but this blog is not about my wandering mind it's about another topic I learned about in the book which is doubt.

Recently, I have been trying to make a decision about my collegiate future since I left my previous university due to the fact that I had a manic episode. That episode caused me to lose everything that I was working towards including graduation from that university. I was distraught for a long time because the enemy was whispering lies into my ear to keep me down. When I finally overcame that period of my life, I told myself that I would never look back at that university and try to pick up the pieces at another college. The main problem I faced was trying to figure out what college major to study because I dropped teaching because I didn't want to have an episode in the face of those kids if I lose my temper. Because let face it takes a special person with incredible patience to teach this generation of children. I just realize that I wasn't the one and it took a manic episode for me to realize that. So, I had doubt about choosing a career because everywhere I turned it like everything was a possibility from a counselor to a youth ministry pastor. It seems like my mind was running at 100 mph, and after reading that book it was the enemy reintroducing doubt in my life. BUT it was GOD who introduce social work in my life and I fell in love almost immediately after learning more about the profession and interviewing a social work professor. I always knew that I always to help people but when God revealed social work to me over counseling, I knew that I could change many lives. However, doubt can still creep into life and make you question everything you are doing because I had to choose what school I wanted to go to.

I will say this after writing this post and thinking about how I chose social work in the first place, which was in that office of that college professor, I just realize what school I need to be. At first, I was being cheap and initially chose a school because the tuition was cheaper than the other option. Also, I chose that same school because it was closer to my house while the other school would be a long drive. I starting to realize that satan will inject all types of ideas in your head to keep you from your destiny. Doubt is a powerful tool and it will trip you up if you let it but you have to remain firm in your decision. My decision is now clear because I know doubt when I see it. Although this is not the place to announce my new school, just keep a lookout on my social media for an official announcement.