When you are on the road of forgiveness and you are walking with God, you start to see what you are doing wrong. For a very long time, I was angry with my Dad because he didn't act like a father he acted like a dictator. Everything had to go his way and if it didn't he would take his anger out on you. Most kids grow up in other households loving and respecting their respect, I grew up in fear and eventually hating my father because in my eyes he never showed me love. I wanted to have the relationship that I saw on television or heard about from my classmates. So, I did everything possible in my younger years to impress him like joining little league football. That might have worked for the year and a half I was on the team, but the moment I broke my teammate's limb I knew I couldn't be on the team anymore. He never verbally said that I disappointed him, but it seems like everything else I did in life didn't cause much excitement. Plus, he was physically and emotionally abusive. In my opinion, my dad was not a good father, and on top of that, I had his name. So, when I went off to college and experience my first taste of freedom, I decided to adopt the nickname, Trey, and slowly that name morphed into Trey M. Powers. I thought having my own name would be a freeing experience, but God placed people on my road throughout the years to get me to see that what I was doing was wrong. I started to realize that name was a sign of my unforgiveness to my dad and the longer I kept it, the longer I was disobeying God. There was this random stranger at Starbucks who I was talking to about my name who told me that I was being disrespectful to my parents because I wanted to change my name to Trey M. Powers. Now, at the time I was very defensive because he didn't know me or my back story, but I always remember that conversation, even though his delivery was wrong, his point was right. God placed him on my path to question if what I was doing was really disrespectful, but not just to my earthly parents but to God because he allowed my parents to name me.
My father and I may have had a past, but I realize that it is the past and it has to stay there. As for my name, I will bring honor to Maurice Burrell if it the last thing I do, and I will not hold my dad accountable for his past sins. We are all imperfect and we need Jesus to save us at the end of the day. Although forgiveness is hard, I don't want to miss out on my blessings because I kept holding to a grudge. I thought I had forgiven him years ago but couldn't bring myself to love him, and I was called out by the ministry leader of the YA at my church that I hadn't forgiven him. I understand now that true forgiveness means loving someone even though they have done you wrong in the past. What my dad doesn't know is that he catapult me into a field where I am going to help children, teens, and family who may have experienced the same problems I did in my childhood. God doesn't waste your pain, but he allows it because it going to help you grow in the long run. So, If the good Lord says the same after I earn my Master of Divinity (that is what needed to become an ordained pastor), I am also going to complete a Master of Counseling and obtain my LPC (Licensed Professional Counselor). Meeting people face to face and helping them with their problems is a dream come true, and plus having the full knowledge of the bible in my toolbelt means that I am bringing more souls to Jesus Christ.
I am excited about my future! Are You?
I Love You And There Is Nothing You Can Do About It
Maurice Burrell III
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